Den is there! Yippie I did what I wanted to do. It is a beautiful feeling to see what I have created. A lot has happened in the last few years. We have witnessed a fucking pandemic for got sake! Den still survived. I have given my all and there is nothing more to give. That was what I wanted… to give my everything. I won and it does feel like a victory.
I loved when people enjoyed watching me make pizza for them in the last two years. I loved talking to people and seeing them feel amazed about the space, food and my stories. Celebrities such as Radhika Madan and Jasleen Royal have visited the cafe. Every day was a fight for survival and giving up was never an option.
Corona has been tough. I remember during the second wave last year, I was going to the cafe every day while doing the sale of hardly Rs 500. It hurts but still I fought and did what I had to do. For the last two years, at the end of the month, my target was not to get a penny in my pocket, it has always been to make sure I have enough money to pay salaries. However, when I cannot pay salaries and have to rely on my family to pay it for me, seeing them worrying for me… it hurts.
Last winters were good. For the first time since starting den, I didn’t take any money from my family for six whole months. I remember how happy my mom was when I paid the internet bill for my home. However, I have been rowing against the winds for way too long now and there is a sense of despair. While I have given my everything to this crazy dream of mine I feel too bruised. Just so you know, while writing down the content, I have a sense of calmness in myself. I know I have created something big, but only time will show what the seed germinates into.
I think I want to rest now, don’t want to row against the wind at the moment and enjoy this new shift that is coming in me. Let me be the gardener watering my little plant that is growing by itself into something mesmerising.
Energy plays interesting games. For the moment I started to feel that I am getting burnt out, I have been given the opportunity to take a break with closing of den(at least for now). I can take a small backseat and let the magic happen. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to continue making pizza. Also, I want to be free and fly to recover from the injurious I am suffering for the last many years for this dream I saw. I might also not be making pizza. I don’t want to give any commitment to anyone and just focus on flying and be a free birds after years. I do feel den will come back in different form when the time is right. A small hint I want to give around den is… Den is home of hungryhitchhiker and a foodspace… it was never just a cafe. 🙂
Note: For those who are wondering why are we closing the den, reason is, entire haveli is going in renovation and the people involved are coming with new ideas. Don’t get me wrong the plans are beautiful and hopefully they will be implemented that way. At present I am also part of the plans and will share more about it at the right time. Also I want to share my gratitude to the most supportive landlord I could never imagine over the last three years. But More on that in my next blog. 😛
Just adding another paragraph because I wanted to share about it out of the blue.
I do feel good about the gaming culture that we have created at the Den. However, I feel even that will take time to develop. To be honest, we are a bit dishearted by Jaipur. But at the same time, I do believe in Jaipur. It is just that everything takes time and in the meanwhile let my wounds heal. Also, I want to think about myself and do what I want to do by living in the present for I have lived enough with my mind in future for a lifetime. Okay, maybe I have achieved something and maybe victory is around the corner :).